It is a cold, rainy day. The washing basket is full of dirty clothes (though I just ‘caught up‘ hanging out two baskets of clean ones & putting away three yesterday). The sink is full of dirty dishes (though I saw my husband wash up three times yesterday and my brothers-in-law, too). The lounge room floor is covered in two sets of blocks, both of which I know I have packed away four times in the past 14 hours. The dining table is covered in my kindy girl’s morning craft (paper cuttings, textas & books), one size one sock (?), my business program To-Do items on post-it notes & in my Day Dreamer journal, a toy drill, a full fruit bowl & a half full plastic bowl of now-cold-but-was-warm home-made saline solution (salty water). The last item is the only indication of the night we had. My baby & I (plus Daddy a couple of times). He is sick. I am sick. His eyes are gunky & we’ve been cleaning them with cotton wool balls almost hourly for the last 24. Even dosed with both paracetamol & ibuprofen, he, therefore I, was awake every one to two hours last night. My nose is running, my throat is sore & my body is hunched & my eyes feel heavy. I am exhausted. There is so much work to do. And I’m going to do none of it.
I am resting. Here in my writing, watching, reading & rehearsing, I am resting & relaxing. With a cup of chamomile mixed with The Golden Month’s Golden Mama powder for warming nourishment, raw cacao powder for magnesium and honey to soothe my throat. I’ve just dunked two Hob Nob biscuits to fill my belly. That’s what I want to do. That’s what I feel like doing.
And when I‘ve had enough of this, I am going to lay down, do this *Self-compassion Parent Meditation from the Body Image Movement founder & Self-love Crusader, Taryn Brumfitt’s, latest book Embrace Kids (handbook to the documentary of the same name that I hosted a screening for a few weeks ago).
Then, if my son is still asleep – please still be asleep – I will hopefully have a mumma-nap myself after some mindful watching of my new favourite movie – The High Note, directed by Nisha Ganatra, written by Flora Gleeson, starring Dakota Johnson & Tracee Ellis Ross on Netflix, laying down alone on the lounge.
Unfortunately, I usually struggle to sleep in the daytime. Especially in my own bed with the cot now back in my (our) bedroom. My chances of actually napping are higher if I chillax in the lounge room for a while, watching something easy on TV with the curtains closed and when I feel tired enough, turning it off. Switching off.
#thisismylist #myRest #myRelaxation #myRnR #rest #relax #mummanap #mumrap #mumtrap #mybest #sleephotel #EmbraceKids #EmbraceNoKidsAwake #HaveABreak
*The text contained in the three images of the book pages that accompany this post reads:
“Just sit back in your chair, take a deep breath, and close your eyes for a moment (as long as you’re not driving!). That’s it. Now, take another nice big, slow breath.
Picture a tough situation that you have had with your kids lately. Anything that comes to mind is fine. Replay what was happening in that moment.
First, think about how you were feeling in that moment. What emotions came up for you? Anger? Fear? Confusion? Frustration? Sadness? Grief?
Allow yourself to feel those feelings. Acknowledge how you were feeling.
Yes, parenting is hard.
But let’s take a moment to consider everything that is going on for your child in that moment. Take a deep breath and imagine the physical, emotional and cognitive challenges and changes that their body is going through. Imagine the influences on your child’s thoughts, feelings and actions. I want you to visualise your young person now, and send them some compassion. Being a kid can be really hard.
Let’s send them some compassion now. Repeat silently after me, in your mind, to your child:
May you be strong.
May you be patient.
May you be kind to yourself.
Parenting is hard, and it can be hard to treat your kids with kindness when they are angry with, or dismissive of, you. But you are not alone in feeling this.
Next, visualise taking a step back, or zooming out from your child and your own experience, to picture all of the parents of your child’s friend group. Do you think that they struggle with parenting too? And now all of the parents of the kids at your child’s school – are they struggling with this too? And zoom out again, to visualise all of the parents in your town, city, your state or territory, your country, and around the world. All of these parents are feeling similar feelings, and experiencing similar struggles. You are not alone. All parents feel this way from time to time.
We are going to send all of these parents some collective compassion:
May you be strong.
May you be patient.
May you be kind to yourselves.
And now, come back to you. The parent who has always been there for your child, who gives up so much of their life for them. You have given this child love and have been a guide and teacher. There was no manual, but you figured out their unique needs and met them as best you could. No-one can love and support this young person like you can. Although it is hard, and you feel exhausted sometimes, you are doing the best that you can, and you will be able to keep going.
Now give yourself this kindness:
May I be strong.
May I be patient.
May I be kind to myself.
While you are in this moment of stillness and kindness towards yourself and others, what comes to mind, what do you need to remember?
As you slowly come back to the room you are in, and to the present moment, take some time to reflect and write down the words that came to you, or what you need to remember to go forward with.
(ADAPTED FROM GUIDED SELF-COMPASSION MEDITATIONS BY DR KRISTIN NEFF)”
(Pages 94-96, Embrace Kids, 2022).
