I feel trapped inside a palace.
Wrapped in love that’s laced with malice.
The tiredness, the wiredness, it’s fuckin madness.
This exhaustion is bone marrow deep now,
like it’s buried so far inside me all I can do is lay here and weep now.
My eye sockets feel like they’ve been hacked at with a handsaw,
my mouth spitting fire at its very life source,
unable to even stop to draw breath even after seeing they’re burning and bleeding raw.
I want to get away; to get out…
But I have nowhere to go; no one can come with me.
No one can be me for my baby.
Nowhere and no way, so here I stay.
Sad and lonely, surrounded by my family. How can that be?
Angry and hurt, head swimming in irrational impossibility.
What if I go to work? You stay home?
Is that what you need? Is that what I want?
Could it even work?
Would we have enough money?
Would they be ok in the day without Mummy?
Maybe they’re not ok with me.
I’m not ok with me.
*This poem is the first in my e-book, “You must be so tired.” published on Amazon here:
All profits from my book sales go towards funding my new start-up to help new mums (myself included!)
#RnR #RestNRelaxation #Rest #Relaxation #MyRnR